Mothering Undiagnosed

Why I'm Telling This Story Now

I am writing this book now, to make sense of my own story, to move forward in healing—not to be perceived, but to be seen.

I want the reader to feel seen. To feel less alone, understanding why they struggle, and realising there is still hope—even in chaotic mess.

Heart to heart, I would say—I know it hurts and you feel misunderstood, you don’t even trust yourself—but you can learn your name.

This book is for Mothers, neurodivergent mothers both seen and unseen, trauma survivors who are still suppressing trauma, my past self and my children—as a way to say—I was always trying, I see you trying, and you are enough. Just being.

This story differs from others, as it breaks the taboo silences we carry as mothers, as neurodivergent mothers, and how, unsupported—we are sinking ships, paddling like a distressed swan—it can all look well on the surface. It fills the gap of being real and honestly raw, without sugar-coated, syrupy niceties we have been taught our whole lives.

OVERVIEW

I didn’t always know how to name what I was carrying. I just knew I felt things deeper than I was meant to. Some days I could move mountains, while on others I could drown in the smallest of tasks. I knew I was sensitive, intense, forgetful, too much, too tired, too emotional, too inconsistent.

I believed I was failing as a mother—luteal phase of my cycle is known to exaggerate these invasive, intruding beliefs. I struggled with exhaustion that went beyond sleepless nights, emotions that felt unbearable, and a brain that moved too fast but couldn’t keep up with the constant demands of parenting—at least not consistently.

I blamed myself—why couldn’t I manage the way other mothers seemed to? Late into adulthood, in my early forties, I began to find some answers that helped me to finally understand. PTSD, PMDD, ADHD, FND and autism, had all been at play together, internally. I wasn’t broken. I was undiagnosed.

Mothering Undiagnosed is a deeply personal, reflective exploration, of what it means to navigate motherhood, while carrying the weight of masked neurodivergence and trauma. Through a braided narrative of past and present, I’m writing it with the girl I was, the mother I became, and the woman I am becoming. I uncover how the struggles I blamed myself for, were actually rooted in neurodevelopmental conditions that I didn’t know I had.

Post partum depression dismissed as ‘just hormones’, to the unrelenting cycle of Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder PMDD, childhood trauma shaping my sense of self—and the burnout from masking AuDHD for decades. My story is about unravelling the truth, reclaiming what was lost, and redefining motherhood on my own terms.

This book will speak to the growing number of neurodivergent women, who are finding their answers a bit later in life, the ones who spent years feeling ‘too much’ or ‘not enough’, and to every mother who has sat alone wondering, if they are the only one struggling. It challenges the myths of what a ‘good mother’ looks like, and offers a deeply honest account of what happens when the collision of neurodivergence, trauma and hormones is ignored for too long.

Mothering Undiagnosed is a book about survival, self-discovery and ultimately, self acceptance. It’s a memoir, a reckoning, a quiet rebellion.

Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing fragments, reflections and chapter drafts from the book. You can subscribe to follow the journey. You don’t have to reply, but if something resonates…let me know.